As I thought back over the last year I started to compare Now to where I was a year or two ago, and quickly realized that the comparison was irrelevant.
I'm not who I was then, and looking to the past or future to figure out where I'm at now is completely futile.
I think it is important to have goals in life. I'm a very goal oriented person, and I do have certain goals for myself for the year. But if there is one thing that I learned from 2011 it was to be more open-ended with my "plans".
Screw plans. They're useless. A delusive tool to make us feel as though we're in control.
Goals, yes. Plans, no. Life is what happens when you're making "plans".
I have two real, tangible goals for myself for the year.
1 - Move to Denver.
If Austin, Tx and Burlington, VT had a baby it would be Denver. It is the home I have not yet had, and is the home I wish to spend my coming years in.
2 - Change this whole career thing. Can't really plan that part out. Nor am I going to worry about how/when it's going to make its metamorphosis. The best things in life aren't planned, and the whole career thing will work out on it's own. I have a great passion for design, textiles, and especially performance-apparel and I know the path will unfold itself as the year goes on.
I can't control much, but I can control how grateful I am for the things I am given. Two amazing little boys that, while trouble-makers, are the little lights of my life. I can't keep focusing on what I don't have, or what I have yet to attain - that will get me nowhere. Instead, I have set tangible yet flexible goals for myself and will let the rest fall into place.
Life without expectations yet filled with gratitude.
I am in 'transition' - and that sounds so lame. ("Everyone look out! She's in transition!") But how can things get better if they don't ever change? Let's not freak out people, change can be great, it doesn't mean that I don't have my shit together - it just means I'm brave enough to admit when things can be better.
I don't know where I'll be on 1.18.13. And it doesn't really matter. I'm happy, I'm blessed, and I'm doing everything I can to be the strong independent woman that I know that I am.
And as for my blogging duties - pardon my truancy. I promise to ramble incessantly about my experiences as the year goes on whether anyone reads it or not.
That's all for now - back to being Supermom.
-AM
